control yourself, take only what you need from it

friday was a complete mess.

i dont think blaming anyone for what happened would solve anything. really. so basically i got really insane and my friends had to take care of me and .. izzy lost her bag and while sonia and cheyenne went to look for her bag, they lost me. i disappeared and i dont really know what happened. if we were to start blaming everyone, the drama will Never stop. and it was really horrible how words were carelessly thrown around which fueled the whole "missing" drama - but really, NOTHING BAD HAPPENED. nothing anyone says on a free flow night should be taken serious, even thought there was a crisis or whatever. everyone was high and wasnt thinking straight. at the end of the day, i had fun and as selfish as it may sound, to me thats all that matters. thank you to my friends who took care of me and for taking up half of your night which could have been more fun dancing in the club or something but you know if it was you, i would have done the exact same thing.

plus, reading/listening about one side of the story isnt fair to anyone. we all want to know what really happened but we never will, because of the nature of the situation. why cant everyone just move on?? i know i have.

anyway, yesterday made up for friday ++ missing the whitest boy alive gig because



was AWESOME. the last hour was so good, he played so many random songs like pretty woman, sweet child o mine and mamma mia! it was such an exhilarating experience being right in front.



i got shoved and pushed and stepped on, had to control my pee for 4 hours, got called a "fucking bitch", have bruises all over my body and sore muscles, couldnt feel my legs after 3am .. BUT IT WAS ALL SO WORTH IT. hakeem and i were hoping he would play rooney's when did you heart go missing but he didnt, but the asian jesus made it up with an impromptu remix of kids by mgmt. i was so happy i wanted to cry.

after a mayhem weekend, i have 2 papers to sit for this week .. i actually feel a weird sense of balance.