catastrophe

'One'
by Spencer Madsen


I fell in love with a girl in an hour
not record-breaking
but impressive

i sent her a poem
after she had gone to college
she said thank you

with the subtext of i guess

people on the train dont want to be touched

the train is a place for seething
because why are your headphones so loud

i want to be like people who dont know i want to be like them
i think this is common

but i wish they knew and helped me

there is a logical reason for everything
i told the spiritual person
i dont think she understood

the reverend was excited to see me
but was sad that i did not join his group
i dont believe in him or his god
but i do believe in magic
because how do airplanes work

there is a reason for why i feel weird
but the reason is why i feel weird
so i dont want to think about it

i am good at not thinking about things that i do not want to think about
but i think about them when i am sleeping

i sing songs to myself and cry

birds that hop are the best kind
or birds that cannot fly
because they know the feeling of feeling weird
in their weird bird way

one thing that bothers me is spiritual people
because they dont see that everything is random/bad

birds that are seagulls are assholes
because have you ever ate at a beach

the internet finds insight in gmail conversations
my brother says to me that he is working
he says he is fucking this shit

what does that even mean

one time i asked him what is wrong
‘life is scary and bad’
he said and fell asleep.